The 5-secret ‘sexy solution’ to upshifting the playing field at home
What I am about to share may initially rock the boat and yes it my intention to open the door so you beautiful men take back your power as men and to bring the juiciness back into a once lifeless relationships of complacency and inner silence.
I never see problems I see challenges and solutions! This is vital to remember this as a problem is like a dead-end and can be overwhelming filling the individual with emotions of powerlessness, worthlessness and hopelessness.
Let’s undress the solutions and begin to play the game of life, which means not being played!
1. “Self-love and the power of the word NO”
It is time to listen to what feel true, maybe you enjoy being obedient, or maybe you have forgotten what you want and who you are. Start to make some plans for you, not what is expected of you, as that is another’s wants! This may be challenging for many as they have been filling up another’s cup.
- Ask what do I want?
- How can I fill up on self-love to feel good anyway?
- Why do I always say yes, when inside it is a no?
- Be still and focus upon your breath- 5 minutes everyday
- After a shower, touch and tone every part of your body
- Next time in bed, you have the desire yet are told no, then feel okay with masturbating in full openness, it is honoring you and it is your bed too!
2. Book time in for you
I will be real and raw with the men as it is time to step up and book time in for you. This follows on perfectly with self-love practices, the more we fill our own cup, and then the more we have to give. The more you are overflowing with feeling good feelings then the more you are over-flowing in sexual magnetism and you become irresistible.
- Connect with a hobby/passions
- Book time in with male friends/those who you vibe with
- Run a soothing bath with bubbles and light candles for YOU
- Have a ‘date’ with you…. Music, candles, book or your favourite movie
- Go for a relaxing massage, and some pampering
- Book a weekend away with friends
- Book into a Barbour for an epic shave
- Book into a day spa- a gift for you.
- Go to your favourite movie that you want to see.
Book time in for YOU and Fill up on feeling good and stop pleasing everyone else.
3. Communication is key
This begins with honouring and checking in with your own inner truth. This may be the most confronting thing you do as we have forgotten to listen to what we want and it is moving away from, doing what is expected of you. I see so much pressure on men, to be the perfect partner, the best dad and to be there for everyone else, yet their own needs forgotten.
With loving kindness and a willingness to be open with you and spending some time in self-enquiry. These are to be said out loud to self.
- I am sorry that I ignored you- I am here now
- I forgive myself- I am now listening
- I love myself enough to do what is best for me- as that is enough
- I am deserving of happiness and affection
This means being vulnerable and then when you are ready then being vulnerable and open with your wife/partner. It is vital so that everyone can be in a position to make informed choices that are aligned with their own truth.
Learn to communicate before finding yourself in a place of more people being involved and it getting messy with more miscommunication and mixed emotions.
4. Take responsibility for self – be the adult
STOP being the obedient child as to ‘break-free of the dysfunction’ you have to be willing to stop catching the ball and bring it back on command. I have something that is super-sexy for the women, to command a man and it’s for the benefit of the men too.
The nagging is ugly, put it this way, say it once and leave it. Men and boys will switch off after the first time it is said, say it once and walk away, allow reality to be the teacher. It is really challenging to be present with another soul, when they are going over the same shit like a boring broken record, so when this is happening, walk away and provide some space.
The adult man acting like the obedient child is self-created as they are feeding off one another, like a virus and the host. It comes down to ‘self-love and worthiness’
- You take away the forbidden fruit- it will be desired even more
- Over controlling with rules- out of sight will lead to rebellion and infidelity
- Rules are there to be challenged and broken, have less rules, more respect
- Respect and love one another, self-responsibility of truth.
- STEP with courage, be brave and honour your feelings
- Say what you desire with courage, be open and then choose the path forward
- To take responsibility is to be FREE
- Ask, how do I wish my relationship to be in 3 months, 3 years, 10 years?
Take responsibility for self, work as a team, make it fun, express your desires ad stop being the doormat. Be the change.
5. Ownership of your emotions – get it out!
You may have felt angry and it has been suppressed so much so that it has shifted into a dull numbness inside, like emptiness. You have over compensated for feel happy, to it goes UN noticed, as you are a positive person and strive for the best.
As a woman for many years, I would push and push a man, until he snapped. I was looking for a reaction, and when he raised his voice this is what happened.
I melted and softened within. I felt his raw masculine coming through, his desire and determination oozing out of his pores. He had shifted from the obedient, loving attentive man, who would bend to my over controlling ways (fear based on my part) into a man who found his ROAR. This was the most passionate make up sex and the masculine and feminine charge was reset. I am not saying that we have to shout at one another, YET there reaches a critical point that a voice needs to be heard, in all its real rawness. Many women have become over-controlling, unconsciously manipulative with more masculine energetic characteristics, and the men have flipped into the feminine characteristics to balance the status quo. To shift the balance, may mean the man raising his voice and taking back his power and roaring as a man!
I’ll be blunt
- Take back your balls, remember who you are
- Speak your truth- Own it like a boss
- Forgive yourself and say sorry to yourself- it is time to honour your own voice
- Listen to your heart & soul as this is an act of self-love and self-acceptance
- I love you – say to self, love begins with self
- Have gratitude – what life is teaching you about yourself
- Be the Master of you
It is beautiful once both parties can fill up on self, that is beautiful and then things like sharing a bath is a joy, as at the end of the day a man desires to spend hos time with those he loves and adores. He deserves to be respected, adored and loved as the beautiful soul he is.